Estella Warren having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. (Photo Credit: CC BY-SA/Tom Hiltz/Flickr)

Canadian model/actress Estella Warren has a long way to go before she lights up Lindsay Lohan’s should-be-patented “LiLoMeter” for stars behaving badly. But Warren was certainly lit up Monday during a bizarre altercation with Los Angeles police, reports E! Online. Warren was charged with hit-and-run, DUI, assault and felony escape and is being held on $100,000 bond. The strange cherry on the hot mess sundae for the former Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover model is that her I.D. lists her age at 40 – eight years older than her admitted age.

Fighting the power like Daena versus the apes

While neither Estella Warren nor her publicist have commented on Monday’s spectacle, fans of Tim Burton’s 2001 remake of “Planet of the Apes” might argue that like Warren’s slave girl character Daena in that film, who battled valiantly against simian oppressors, Warren was simply fighting the power. However, the more realistic scenario is that she was hammered out of her mind, a fact that a Los Angeles law enforcement confirmed to TMZ.

The chain of events that could easily qualify as Estella Warren’s application for LiLo-esque sainthood unfolded as follows:

  1. Warren piloted her Toyota Prius into three parked cars.
  2. The inebriated ingenue fled the scene, all the while maintaining fuel efficiency.
  3. Officious Los Angelinos with badges pulled Warren over.
  4. She lit up the breathalyzer and was nabbed for DUI.
  5. A last-ditch effort to kick the man where it hurts was made.
  6. Estella Warren was cuffed and taken into custody.
  7. During booking – when the age discrepancy was revealed – the former Canadian synchronized swimming champ shimmied out of her handcuffs.
  8. She ran for the door and tried to escape the station and earned a felony escape charge for her trouble.
  9. Bail was set at $100,000, according to the L.A. County Sheriff.
  10. The pretty bird became a jail bird.

Not model behavior

Drinking too many alcoholic beverages can send anyone into a downward spiral. When celebrities – particularly attractive ones – tip the bottle back one too many times, it’s front-page news, food for the devilish fever dream that is U.S. popular culture. That Warren is an internationally known supermodel who has appeared in magazines from Sports Illustrated to Vogue and Vanity Fair as well as an actress in both TV and film, only amplifies the effect.

Sources

E! Online: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b243600_estella_warren_arrested_dui_hit_run.html

Estella Warren wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Estella_Warren

Planet of the Apes – The Sacred Scrolls: http://planetoftheapes.wikia.com/wiki/Daena

TMZ: http://bit.ly/ivEW1F

Howling over Little Red Estella Warren

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