Troy Polamalu insures hair, masculinity takes the sack
Troy Polamalu intercepts attention with his hair on every play. (Photo Credit: CC BY-SA/pittsburghcurly/Pittsburgh Curly)

Style constantly evolves, as does what people consider to be sexy. What raised the roof in 1935 may not curl one’s hair today. Speaking of hair, the Pittsburgh Steelers’ safety Troy Polamalu has insured his three-foot-long locks for $1 million with Lloyd’s of London, reports Yahoo! Sports. Some call it sexy – and apparently Polamalu believes it, based upon his Head & Shoulders commercials – but it raises some questions. Not questions about why Polamalu didn’t insure a body part that has something to do with football, something he might injure. No, the question is “What has happened to masculinity?” and Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino and Taylor Lautner may have something to do with the answer.

Troy Polamalu’s hair insurance could be something else entirely

It could be that Troy Polamalu insuring his hair for $1 million is a publicity stunt cooked up by the marketing department of Johnson & Johnson. Celebrities have done stranger things. Or it could be a tribute to Polamalu’s Samoan heritage. But if Troy Polamalu and his hair are in the middle of a serious relationship, then perhaps it is best to close the door. Men don’t need to insure their hair under any circumstances. Taking pride in one’s appearance is one thing, but a $1 million insurance policy is something else entirely.

‘The Situation’ is dire indeed, men

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino does sit-ups and flashes his abs in clubs and on beaches for “The Jersey Shore.” There’s plenty of tanning oil and self-satisfaction to go around. Perhaps he thinks his clubbing background makes him worthy of the DWTS stage (he’s on the scene for season 11), but Mr. The Situation is playing it like he’s an underdog.

“I’m going to lose a couple days practice,” he told People magazine. “But I don’t mind being the underdog. I promise to try my hardest and practice as much as I can and be the best that I can be. I hope the Situation Nation shows up to support me. The Situation has mass appeal.”

When an on-duty policeman or fireman says “we have a situation here,” that isn’t a good thing. Being known for being ripped isn’t enough to earn the “man” label. No self-respecting man would come within a Jersey Turnpike of making a career out of taking off his shirt to flash the goods unless he was in the porn industry or the kind of dancing you’ll never see on DWTS.

The mass appeal of werewolves who hate their RV trailers

So werewolf Taylor Lautner of “Twilight” fame sued an RV dealership over what he considered an insufficient customized trailer, reports the Associated Press. Brett McMahon, who owns the dealership, has challenged Lautner to a push-up contest in order to settle the breach of contract claim. McMahon denies the claim, but has said that if he can do more push-ups than Taylor Lautner, he’ll donate the settlement money the werewolf’s camp is seeking to a children’s charity.

At this time, Lautner – who at 18 years of age is already set for life financially – has not responded to the 47-year-old McMahon’s challenge. As to whether Lautner will go bestial over the push-up challenge, Team Jacob remains close-lipped.

Masculinity has left and gone away

What has happened to masculinity? Troy Polamalu’s hair is insured and shiny, there’s enough of “The Situation” for every oiled-up poseur in the Tri-State Region and werewolves are ducking push-up challenges. Real confidence from within and the drive to get things done without having to tweet every single movement are manly qualities. No prima donnas allowed. But that’s not the way of the world today. As Adam Carolla puts it so well in his book title, “In 50 years, we’ll all be chicks.” Troy Palomalu, The Situation and Taylor Lautner, your man cards are due.

Sources

Newser.com: http://www.newser.com/article/d9hu09e80/rv-dealer-sued-by-taylor-lautner-challenges-twilight-star-to-push-up-contest-to-resolve-suit.html
People.com: http://tvwatch.people.com/2010/08/31/situation-underdog-dancing-mike-sorrentino/
Yahoo! Sports: http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Troy-Polamalu-s-long-locks-insured-for-1-millio;_ylt=AhzlRkYBGvNbCrvDoofys1l0fNdF?urn=nfl-266239

‘You asked with your eyes, Trent… You asked with your eyes.’

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3BaPi94bWs

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